Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
