So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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