left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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