sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
