And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
