can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
