you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
should my penis look like a turkey
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
