talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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