my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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