No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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