handjob tips. give me some.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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