i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
