yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize