So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize