i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
