My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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