My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How naked do you want me to be?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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