Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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