if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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