Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize