week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
