Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
