we need to drink 2009 down the drain
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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