Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
