Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
