whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
