We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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