So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
