Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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