her vagine was all disorganized.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
