I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
