Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
