Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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