that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
