I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
