I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
