Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
