There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
