I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
