Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
