State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
