you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
