Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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