I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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