she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
