We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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