i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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