Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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