Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
