I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
how drunk are you?
Several
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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