sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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