I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
