Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
