mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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