The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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