i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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