i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
