True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
