i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Randomize
