Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
