Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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