Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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