I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
