I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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