very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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