she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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