Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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